Sometimes good intentions go awry, especially when traveling. Here are the common hotel etiquette missteps to avoid—straight from hotel workers themselves.
17 Polite Habits Hotel Workers Actually Dislike—and What to Do Instead
Updated on Oct. 18, 2024
Don’t make these hotel etiquette mistakes
Hotel workers deal with a lot of people every day … and a lot of personalities. It’s definitely not an easy job! You, as a kind and reasonable human being, understand this, so you do your best to be polite and follow hotel etiquette. Of course, you know that certain etiquette rules apply here, but you may not realize that some “polite” habits aren’t quite as polite as you might think. In fact, these things could actually be getting in the way of hotel workers doing their jobs and providing you with the best service possible. (And sometimes those habits are just really annoying!)
“It’s always good to use your best etiquette, especially in public places like hotels, but a little extra kindness to the staff can also make your stay nicer,” says Elaine Swann, an etiquette expert who has worked in hospitality. “People respond positively to kindness. Just be thoughtful in your approach.”
Ken F., a hotel concierge at a four-star hotel in Manhattan, says he’s seen everything in his 18 years behind the front desk. And he agrees with Swann: Kindness matters. But just because a gesture is kind doesn’t mean it’s the right move. “Kindness is everything, and it really does make a huge difference to us, so I never want to discourage people from doing their best to be nice,” he says. “But there are definitely some things that, while we know are meant to be nice, we’d really rather you don’t do. So if you really want to know, I’ll be brutally honest!”
Oh, we want to know everything, Ken.
To help you avoid these all-too-common etiquette mistakes, we talked to Ken and other hotel workers to find out which polite habits most people dislike at hotels, motels and all-inclusive resorts. Read on to find out what these are and to get advice from two etiquette experts on what to do instead.
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Getting items you need from the housekeeping cart
Need an extra towel, pillow or bottle of shampoo? It’s tempting to just grab one off the housekeeping cart parked conveniently in the hallway or from an open closet. It’s right there, and—bonus!—that way, you don’t have to bother one of the employees by asking for it. But that simple action can cause “chaos,” says Aleph S., a housekeeper with 10 years of experience at a three-star hotel in California. That’s because big hotel chains do daily audits of supplies, and everything is supposed to be accounted for. “A pillow goes missing, and I get in trouble for it!” he says.
Do this instead: “If you see something you need, it’s OK to ask the housekeeper if you can take one, but it’s important to ask first, as they are often responsible for the inventory,” Swann says. They’ll likely be accommodating (a fact you should remember when tipping them), but if they can’t help you, Swann says to give the front desk a call. They can get you fresh towels, extra bedding or whatever else you need.
Putting dirty room service dishes out in the hallway
Room service is one of the best parts of staying in a hotel. But what do you do with the room service dishes after using them? This confusion leads to a common mistake people make when staying in a hotel—it’s so common you even see it in movies and TV shows, Swann says. “It makes sense you’d want to stack the dishes outside your door to make it easier for staff to come pick them up next time they are making their rounds, but this isn’t good etiquette. It looks messy and can attract rodents or pests,” she says. “Not to mention, it isn’t necessary.”
Do this instead: Calling room service and telling them you are finished is good hotel manners. “People don’t realize it, but if room service brought them up to your room, they can pick them up when you’re finished,” Swann says.
Requesting services on the website instead of calling the direct line
Many hotels, including even small or boutique hotels, have websites with functions that allow you to order room service, make booking changes, ask for upgrades or order amenities. Some guests assume that it’s easier to do things electronically so they don’t have to bother a real person with their requests, but that’s not the case.
“Even with the technology, it’s easier for us if you just call the front desk and ask us to do it,” says Ken. The website can’t carry out requests on its own, so it just aggregates the information and sends it to the front desk. There, staffers have to interpret it … but can’t ask you clarifying questions or give you answers. And sometimes all those electronic web forms pile up and get ignored. Real people on the phone are much harder to forget or miss, Ken explains.
Do this instead: Call the front desk and be clear about what you’re looking for, Swann says. “Half the time, I end up just calling the guest’s room anyhow. Talking to us directly saves time and has a better chance of making sure you get what you need,” Ken says. “There’s a reason there’s still a landline phone in every hotel room.”
Helping them clean
Every once in a while, a guest will try to help housekeeping clean—either by cleaning alongside the worker (a big no-no!) or by trying to anticipate what the worker will need, like by stripping all the bedding and putting it on the floor. “This is a problem because as long as it’s the same guests in the same room, we don’t change out the bedding every day, so now that’s more work for me,” says Maria H., a housekeeper with five years of experience at a resort in Florida. Even if you do things like wipe down counters or sweep, housekeepers will still have to do it again, so you might as well save your time. That’s one of the best perks of staying in a hotel!
Do this instead: Keep your things neat and tidy, and dispose of all your garbage properly. “There’s no need to do extra chores to help the housekeeper,” says Diane Gottsman, the author of Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.
Hiding tips for housekeeping
“Sometimes, people put our tips under pillows or lamps or in the fridge,” says Maria. “They hide it because they want to make sure that the housekeeper doing the deep cleaning gets the tip—which I do always appreciate—but that’s not necessary and can make it even harder to find the tip.” She adds that money found in weird places is often assumed to be lost, and housekeeping will turn it in to the front desk in case the guest comes back looking for it.
Do this instead: Leave the tip—cash is always best—on top of a table or counter in plain sight, Gottsman says, adding that if you’re concerned they won’t get it, put it in an envelope labeled “housekeeping” with your room number, and take it to the front desk. Leaving a thank-you note with your tip is a kind gesture.
Tipping a percentage of the bill
How much you should tip hotel housekeeping can be confusing. A common hotel etiquette mistake travelers make is tipping a percentage of the bill, as you would a server. This is incorrect, Gottsman says. How much you tip depends on several factors: the length of your stay, if they had to do extra work, how often they cleaned and the type of hotel. Five-star hotel tipping etiquette is different from motel tipping etiquette. “If you can afford to stay at a luxury hotel, then you should adjust your budget to pay higher tips,” she says.
Do this instead: On average, budget $2 to $5 per day. For higher-end hotels, $10 to $20 a day, or even more, is customary, Gottsman says.
Saving the housekeeping tip for the end
Hotel tipping etiquette can get complicated, but for now, know that tipping housekeeping in any way is always a thoughtful and appreciated gesture—even at a lot of all-inclusive resorts. (The “all-inclusive” element doesn’t always cover all tips.) However, some guests, thinking they are streamlining the process, save the tip until their last day and leave it in one big amount. Unfortunately, says Maria, it’s rare to have the same cleaners every day, which means that only the housekeepers working on that final day get the tip.
Do this instead: Tip every day, in cash, Gottsman says. Just be aware that how and when you should tip can change depending on the country you’re visiting.
Asking them to do extra tasks for extra money
“I’m 15—I don’t even drive!—so it’s hilarious to me how many times guests have handed me their keys and asked me to ‘bring their car around front,'” says Sara P., a housekeeper at a family hotel chain in Utah. “I think they think that I’ll be excited and it will be fun for me to drive their car, or they’ll say it’s an opportunity for me to make some quick cash, but I literally can’t.” Sometimes, Sara says, guests will insist and promise not to tell her boss, which makes it even worse.
Similarly, guests have asked Aleph to run to the liquor store for them, fill a prescription, get pizza or run other errands. “They usually offer to pay me pretty well, which is nice, but I can’t leave during my shift,” he says. Like Sara, he says that guests will then offer to “cover” for him with his boss so he won’t get in trouble.
Do this instead: If the hotel you’re staying at offers valet service, use it. Those workers are trained and insured! And in general, whether it’s a hotel or a motel, don’t ask any employee to do something they’re not comfortable with—and certainly don’t offer to lie to their boss for them, Gottsman says.
Destroying the key card
“I have guests who will destroy their room key cards [after their stay], thinking that they contain personal information about the guests, like their credit card data,” says Ken. “Some guests assume we destroy the cards after they’re turned in, so they do this to save us a step, while others are worried that we’ll keep their information, so they destroy it proactively.”
Other guests worry that the key cards spread germs, so they’ll dip them in cleaner, which can also destroy them. This is a fairly new problem, but Ken says it happens frequently enough that he now mentions it to guests upon checking in.
Do this instead: Leave key cards on the counter in your room, or return them to the front desk when checking out. They’re reusable, and they don’t store any of your personal information, so you don’t have to worry about identity theft. “Plus, a [thief] wouldn’t need your key card for that,” Ken points out. “We already have all your personal information, including your credit card, stored in our booking system.”
Not telling them about problems with your stay right away
Ken’s biggest pet peeve? When guests try to be nice by not “bothering” him when problems arise. He says he’s seen guests sweat in sweltering rooms, sleep on the floor with no bedding, endure loud neighbors, pay erroneous charges and suffer other indignities—all because they don’t want to speak up. “You can speak up for yourself in a polite way,” Swann says. In other words, don’t be so afraid of “being a Karen” that you accept poor service.
Do this instead: Tell the concierge about problems as soon as possible. “Making sure you are comfortable and happy is literally my job, and you’re not making my job harder by alerting me to problems,” says Ken. “In fact, it makes my job easier. I’d much rather get a phone call that you never got your room service than have you go hungry and find out about it the next morning!”
Assuming employees live on-site
“I’ve had a shocking number of guests just assume that I live either at the hotel or on the property somewhere,” says Maria. She says guests, trying to be polite, have asked her if she loves living at the resort, if it’s fun being in such a party-filled atmosphere all the time and if she took the job for the resort perks. (Sadly, they don’t get any discounts or extra benefits.)
“I kinda feel bad telling people that I don’t live here, my job isn’t a party and I don’t ever go to the resort—I think it kind of ruins the magic for them a bit,” she says, adding that it personally irks her when people assume she does housekeeping out of love for the resort. “I don’t love this job. Who loves cleaning all day?! I do it because I need the paycheck. But I still have to smile and thank the guests who think they are complimenting me.”
A big downside of this mentality, she adds, is that guests think if she lives there, then she’s always available and won’t mind helping them out even when she’s not clocked in since she’s “so close.”
Do this instead: Don’t ask staff to do extra work, and don’t assume (or ask) anything about their personal lives, including where they live, Gottsman says. “Keep things cordial but professional and be aware that there’s a line you shouldn’t cross,” she says.
Trusting them to get your bill correct
These days, many people do automatic checkouts, but for those guests who check out at the front desk, a surprising number don’t even look at their bill. “People will wave it away, say ‘I trust you’ and just hand me their credit card,” says Ken. “I know they mean it as a compliment to my service, and it’s sweet that you trust me—but honestly, you shouldn’t. I’m an honest guy, but mistakes happen, and it’s your money.”
Do this instead: Check over your bill for accuracy and bring up any discrepancies right away, Gottsman says. “We’d much rather hear from you immediately than two weeks later when your HR department spots the problem on your expense report,” Ken says. “Plus, there’s much more we can do at that time to fix the situation. If you wait, our options are limited.” On that note, here’s a little all-inclusive resort tip: Make sure to double-check your bill—and remember, not everything is included, so read the fine print before you book!
“Letting” them watch your pet
Some hotels allow you to bring pets, but it’s a good idea to call ahead and ask first to make sure your pet meets the requirements and to find out what the pet fee is, Gottsman says. “Just because a hotel is pet-friendly doesn’t mean they are pet sitters,” she adds.
And relying on random staffers to care for your fur baby? That’s a major hotel etiquette no-no. Aleph works at a pet-friendly hotel, and while he’s an animal lover, he doesn’t love being asked to pet sit while the owners are out. “People will say it like they’re doing me a favor—like, ‘I’ll let you play with my cute dog all day’—but that’s just more work for me,” he says. “I’m not supposed to do that, and I don’t get paid for it, so nope, I’m not gonna do that.”
Plus, if something were to happen to your pet in their care, it would cause all kinds of issues for both the hotel and the employee (not to mention break your heart).
Do this instead: Hotel employees aren’t trained to handle animals, and some don’t even like them. If you must leave your pet in your room, hire a pet sitter from Rover or a similar site to come and take care of them. And Gottsman cautions that under no circumstances should you sneak in a pet, as that can lead to terrible accidents—think: harmful cleaning chemicals that could make your dog sick or a frightened dog biting an employee—when employees aren’t aware that animals are around.
Flagging down the housekeeper for a simple request
You notice the air conditioning isn’t working or you’re out of toilet paper, and you see that housekeeping is just down the hall. The simplest solution is just to go talk to the nearest housekeeper, right? While it may seem nicer (and faster) to do that yourself, it’s actually a top pet peeve of hotel housekeeping, says Aleph. Each person is assigned to clean certain rooms at certain times, and they can get in trouble if you pull them out of their assigned tasks to help you. Plus, he adds, it can be surprising or even scary to be accosted by a guest when you’re alone in a hotel room.
Like restaurant workers, hotel workers all have different roles to play, so housekeeping may not be able to handle your request. For instance, maintenance needs to handle any mechanical problems.
Do this instead: “Call the front desk and explain the issue you’re having,” Swann says. They’ll send the appropriate person to help you.
Asking them to party with you
“Sometimes guests ask me to party with them and will give me a beer,” says Aleph. “I can’t do that stuff on duty, and I’m not allowed to come back when I’m off duty either.” Even though you may mean well and want to help the hotel staff relax or have fun, the invitation is more likely to make them uncomfortable, he says. Sara adds that this sort of offer is also “creepy.”
“Offering alcohol to workers or asking them to participate in activities with you is not a good idea,” Gottsman says. “They are there to do a job, and lots of places have rules about what employees can and cannot do with guests, and your offer could put them in an uncomfortable position.”
Do this instead: If you have an unopened beer or two left over at the end of your stay, it’s fine to leave it on the counter with a note saying it’s for housekeeping, Gottsman says. They can take it home after their shift is over if they want it and chuck it if they don’t. Above all, remember that hotel workers are working—and they’re not your friends, no matter how nice they are—so keep your interactions with them professional. If you want to express your appreciation, a tip and a thank-you note are the ways to go.
Asking about their personal life
Striking up a conversation with a friendly housekeeper, bellhop or concierge is a great idea, and treating them with kindness and respect—like people, not servants—is one of the top things hotel workers say they like. However, most hotel workers don’t appreciate very personal conversations. “Don’t ask me if I have a boyfriend, what my social media handles are, where I live, what time my shift ends, what school I go to or what my last name is,” Sara says, adding that she routinely fields questions like these from well-meaning but nosy guests.
While we’re on the topic, know that this so-called polite habit is also one retail workers dislike—as do most other people who work with the public!
Do this instead: Maintain the professional boundary between employee and guest, and keep all conversation on a fairly light and superficial level. “The weather, sports teams and local activities are generally good topics,” Gottsman says.
Keeping them company
Sometimes traveling is lonely, and you may crave a little human interaction. The front desk manager looks bored, so you may as well chat him up, right? That would be an etiquette mistake. “Short conversations and questions are fine, but long conversations where you monopolize our time are annoying,” says Ken. “Truly, I don’t need you to entertain me, and I’m also not there to be your friend, therapist or confessor.”
He adds that while he will always protect the privacy of hotel guests, he never wants to be asked to be an alibi and lie to someone’s wife, husband or boss. “Some guests think we enjoy the drama and enjoy being involved in it,” he says. “We don’t.”
Do this instead: Ask the concierge for recommendations on good, casual places to hang out and meet new people, like a nearby bar, club, library or church. “Don’t ever involve hotel staff in your personal business or ask them to use deception,” Gottsman says.
About the experts
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Reader’s Digest has published hundreds of etiquette stories that help readers navigate communication in a changing world. We regularly cover topics such as the best messages to send for any occasion, polite habits that aren’t as polite as they seem, email and texting etiquette, business etiquette, tipping etiquette, travel etiquette and more. We’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. For this piece on hotel etiquette, Charlotte Hilton Andersen tapped her experience as a longtime journalist who specializes in etiquette and communication for Reader’s Digest. Then Jacqueline Whitmore, a business etiquette expert and hospitality consultant with more than 30 years of experience who owns the Protocol School of Palm Beach, gave it a rigorous review to ensure that all information is accurate and offers the best possible advice to readers. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
Sources:
- Elaine Swann, etiquette expert and founder of the Swann School of Protocol; phone interview, July 22, 2024
- Diane Gottsman, MS, national etiquette expert, author of Modern Etiquette for a Better Life and founder of the Protocol School of Texas; phone interview, July 24, 2024
- Ken F., hotel concierge at a four-star hotel in Manhattan; phone interview, March 2023
- Aleph S., housekeeper at a three-star hotel in California; interview, March 2023
- Maria H., housekeeper at a resort in Florida; interview, March 2023
- Sara P., housekeeper at a family hotel chain in Utah; interview, March 2023
