Not sure how to interpret those confusing dress codes? We've got you covered with our guide to the proper wedding attire for every type of celebration.
Every Type of Wedding Attire for Guests, Explained
Updated on Oct. 03, 2024
No matter how excited you are when that wedding invitation arrives, there’s a good chance one bit of wedding etiquette will give you pause: how to decipher the dress code. Is it really a big deal if you wear black-tie clothing to a white-tie wedding? It’s all formal … but is “formal” a different category altogether? And on the other side of the spectrum, how casual is “casual”? The granular details of wedding attire are enough to give anyone a headache!
“The terminology can be really confusing,” says etiquette expert Diane Gottsman, owner of the Protocol School of Texas. “Figuring out the differences of semi-formal to formal wedding attire isn’t always easy, but understanding the nuances is important—and not just to the bride and groom, who have set the vibe and tone for the event, but also for your own sense of confidence.” If you follow the proper etiquette rules for wedding guest attire, you’ll feel more comfortable and won’t stick out, which is something the happy couple definitely doesn’t want.
So what do you need to know? We’ve tapped top etiquette experts and bridal specialists to put together this handy guide on wedding guest attire. Ahead, find out all the rules for different types of wedding dress codes to feel and look your best on the big day.
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What are the wedding dress codes for guests?
Wedding dress codes can be all over the map, but even if no specific wedding attire is mentioned on your invitation, you should always keep the following advice in mind when figuring out what to wear, according to bridal stylist Kennedy Bingham: I want to look nice but not take away focus from the couple I’m celebrating. That means sticking to colors and styles that aren’t too bold or too sexy—and certainly never wearing white.
The next step is carefully deciphering the wedding invitation’s etiquette clues. It will often tell you what type of wedding you’ll be attending, what time of day the nuptials are being held and the venue. “I think the later [in the day] the wedding is, the more formally it should be treated,” Bingham says. “A nice summer sundress might be fine for a breakfast wedding, but it would look out of place at a dinner party.” That line of thinking follows logically to the venue. For example, if a wedding is being held outdoors in a park or beach, you might want to opt for something a little more casual. Also, make sure you’re wearing comfortable shoes that work for the setting—no spiky heels in the grass or on a sandy beach.
If the language is vague, or you’re still unclear in any way, check the couple’s website, and even consider reaching out to the bride and groom. “I’ve seen invitations label things like ‘cowboy chic,’ and you don’t know if that means wear boots and jeans, or boots with your suit,” Gottsman says. “When in doubt, always ask—it’s never inappropriate.”
What colors are not appropriate for a wedding?
The days of not being allowed to wear black to a wedding are over—that’s one of the outdated wedding rules no one follows anymore. In fact, Ashley Grape, salon manager of Van Cleve Bridal in Paoli, Pennsylvania, recommends wearing a black dress to black-tie weddings. However, unless specifically requested by the bride, there are a few colors that should never be worn by a wedding guest: white, cream, off-white or ivory. You also shouldn’t wear a dress silhouette that looks even vaguely bridal. Other no-nos? Neon shades, bright red from head to toe and anything overly sequined or bedazzled. Keep it simple, classy and elegant.
The best wedding guest attire for 2024
With all of that in mind, here are all the types of wedding attire from most dressy to least, and what the wedding dress codes actually mean.
White-tie wedding attire
White-tie weddings are the most formal type of events, and they have a strict dress code. Partially due to their high costs, white-tie weddings tend to be observed by members of high society and are usually the choice for royal weddings. Here’s what the term doesn’t mean: wearing a white tux or white gown to the event, which is only allowed when specifically designated as a “white wedding.”
The white-tie moniker is derived from the man’s tuxedo, which consists of a black tailcoat (the back of the coat—i.e., the “tails”—hang below a man’s knees) worn over a white tuxedo shirt that has a pointed wing collar, a white pique waistcoat, braces (i.e., suspenders), white bow tie, matching black trousers and black patent leather shoes. The perfect accessories for a man’s white-tie tuxedo are cuff links and a good watch.
And women get to dress like princesses for the night. “Women can wear a grand ball gown with rich jewels,” says Deborah Van Cleve, owner of Van Cleve Bridal. Accessory options include full-length white gloves, jeweled clutches and, if married, a tiara. “If you are lucky enough to be invited to one, don’t let the rules intimidate you,” Van Cleve says. “Dress for the occasion, and revel in the Britishness of it all.”
Most white-tie weddings are adults-only affairs. If a teen makes the guest list, the dress code is the same as it is for the grown-ups.
Black-tie wedding attire
One step down from white-tie weddings, black-tie wedding attire also requires that all male guests wear a tuxedo. But men can have some fun options within that category, as it’s harder for them to make fashion etiquette mistakes. “While black tuxedos are a mainstay for men, there are also deep navy tuxedos and lush velvet jackets for the winter months,” says Gottsman, who explains you might also see terms like “black-tie festive” or “black-tie holiday,” which mean you can shake up the color of your bow tie, cummerbund/vest and pocket square. Bingham agrees, saying, “I think a fun color could be fine for a black-tie wedding, as long as it adheres to the traditional tux cuts and elements.” If there’s any doubt, though, check with the couple.
For women, fancy, preferably long dresses are the way to go. If you have only one black-tie wedding to attend, invest in a sleekly tailored formal gown in a seasonal color: jewel tones for fall and winter, and paler hues for spring and summer. “If it’s a summer full of weddings, try investing in one or two full-length skirts and coordinating tops,” Grape suggests. By mixing and matching formal separates, it will appear as if you have a closet full of gowns instead of four different pieces.
For jewelry and accessories, follow the protocol for white-tie weddings. Men’s tuxedo shirts should have cuff links, and men’s jewelry should be minimal: a wedding band or signet ring and a watch. Women can try pearl jewelry for a daytime wedding and semiprecious jewelry for an evening event. Skip the tiara for a black-tie wedding—unless you’re the bride.
Teens should follow the adults’ dress code for wedding attire. For tweens and children, girls should opt for knee-length party dresses, and if boys can tolerate it, tuxedos. If they’re wigglers, a boys formal suit is completely acceptable.
Formal wedding attire
Formal and black-tie weddings are very similar. Sartorially speaking, a formal wedding is wedged in between cocktail and black tie. “A formal dress code can be somewhat confusing because there are so many variations, depending on the celebration and the personality of the bride and groom,” Gottsman says. What to wear? For men, it’s always a tuxedo or dark suit. If they’re feeling daring and they’ve checked with the couple, they can be more spirited by wearing a brocade or print tuxedo, or, Gottsman says, dressing things up with velvet shoes and a jazzy cummerbund.
Women, on the other hand, have a plethora of dress choices to fit their personal style, which now can include full-length or ankle-length dresses, elevated cocktail dresses, ultra-elegant beaded suits, very dressy jumpsuits or even gowns. Children should follow the dress code for a cocktail wedding—essentially, party dresses and suits.
Cocktail wedding attire
What does cocktail attire mean? It’s definitely one of the more vexing categories—and often confused with semi-formal (more on that in a minute)—but is basically a form of dress or pants outfit that is dressy but not full-length formal, and always designates an evening event. “When you think of cocktail wedding attire, think festive, party-like and dressy but not necessarily formal,” Gottsman says. Women can opt for a shorter dress that hits at the knee or below, or a dressy beaded suit dress. One evergreen option for a cocktail wedding is the classic little black dress, paired with either a diamond or pearl necklace, and black pumps or black dressy heeled sandals. Men can wear a suit and tie.
For teens and children, girls can go with a classic party dress or dressy trousers and a shirt, while boys should wear a suit. These are good guidelines for children attending other types of formal events as well.
Semi-formal wedding attire
Semi-formal wedding attire is the marriage (so to speak) of formal and casual wedding guest attire, and is differentiated from cocktail in that it can be a daytime event, Gottsman says. Essentially, semi-formal means wearing an outfit that’s less formal than a formal wedding but dressier than a company dinner. Women can choose anything from a full-length dress to a beaded cocktail suit. For men, a dark suit is the way to go.
If a semi-formal wedding is any time before cocktail hour (5 p.m.), women’s dresses should have fewer (if any) beaded embellishments. Footwear should suit the location, and jewelry can range from pearls to gold and semiprecious stones. Save the big, bold statement jewelry for nighttime events. If teens and children are invited to a semi-formal wedding, they should follow the dress code for a cocktail wedding.
Even the bride and groom, though, might not know what exactly they’re asking for—these technical differences fall into the category of somewhat obscure etiquette rules. “Keep in mind that these are basic etiquette guides, and the nuances may not make a difference to a bride and groom who are not personally familiar with cocktail vs. semi-formal,” Gottsman says. “They’ll welcome their guests equally whether they are wearing a cocktail dress or a full-length gown.”
Casual wedding attire
Confused as to how casual you should go when the wedding calls for casual wedding attire? You’re not alone. “It’s one of the hardest [weddings] to dress for,” Bingham says. Still, leave the jeans at home, she says, no matter what. “[If it’s a] backyard wedding, I’d dress the way I would for a birthday brunch—a nice dress, possibly a maxi dress, and accessories. For guys, a suit with no tie, or khakis instead of dress pants.” Both men and women can accessorize with a hat, especially if it’s an outdoor wedding. Guys can try a straw boater, pork pie or fedora, and women can opt for a casual fascinator or full-brimmed straw hat.
The dress code for teens would be the same as for any quasi-formal event: a button-down shirt and khakis for boys, and either a knee or ankle-length dress for girls, or a pair of dressy trousers with a pretty top. For tweens and younger kids, unfussy birthday-style dresses, pants and button-up shirts fit the bill; think first-day-of-school or recital type of clothing for them.
Tips when trying on your outfit
Now that you’ve found the perfect wedding guest attire for your event, you’re ready to go. Well, almost. When you are trying on your outfit (and before you buy it if you’re buying from a store instead of online), avoid this shopping etiquette mistake: Don’t just gaze in the mirror to see how it looks on you. Take it for a walk—as in, really walk around in it, and then bend, sit, raise your hands and even dance a little. By moving around, you’ll see how the outfit moves when you do and, most importantly, how comfortable you are in it.
If you’re also buying new shoes for a wedding, break them in well before the event. After all, fabulous shoes shouldn’t just look great—they should feel great when you’re on your feet all day. And blisters are the last thing you want to deal with after (or worse, during) a wedding.
And finally, because the weather can change over the course of a day, women should bring a lightweight wrap with them. Depending on the season and event, go with cashmere, wool or silk. A fancy spring jacket can also work over certain ensembles for in-transit moments.
About the experts
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Reader’s Digest has published hundreds of etiquette stories that help readers navigate communication in a changing world. We regularly cover topics such as the best messages to send for any occasion, polite habits that aren’t as polite as they seem, email and texting etiquette, business etiquette, tipping etiquette, travel etiquette and more. We’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experience where appropriate. For this piece on wedding guest attire, PJ Gach tapped her experience as a longtime journalist covering fashion and style. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
Sources:
- Diane Gottsman, etiquette expert and owner of the Protocol School of Texas; interview, July 2024
- Kennedy Bingham, bridal stylist and owner Gown Eyed Girl; interview, 2022
- Deborah Van Cleve, owner of Van Cleve Bridal; interview, 2022
- Ashley Grape, salon manager of Van Cleve Bridal; interview, 2022
