You'll be surprised by how much a flight attendant can learn about you simply by greeting you at the door
This Is What a Flight Attendant First Notices About You
Updated on Nov. 06, 2024
Think you’re just one in a long line of anonymous passengers shuffling awkwardly to their seats? Think again. Flight attendants are generally incredibly observant people—they have to be to do their jobs. So from the second you step foot on board with your oversized carry-on (yes, they noticed it’s too big), they’re clocking everything: Are you gripping a neck pillow like it’s the love of your life? Do you already have your headphones on and blaring, to tune out all the noise (and in-flight instructions)? Are you wearing stiletto heels, or do you know exactly what to wear on a plane? When it comes to what flight attendants notice about you, those are just a few highlights. In short, they see everything.
“But don’t worry, we’re not judging you for it,” says Emilia Ryan, a veteran flight attendant who currently works transatlantic flights for a major airline. “We use this information to help make you more comfortable and have a better flight.” She adds that some airlines even allow the cabin crew to enter “notes” about a passenger in their tablets so that the next time you fly with them, future flight attendants will know that you prefer ginger ale and are prone to motion sickness. Or that you caused an argument over your seat on a previous flight, so be careful! “We do keep sort of a permanent record,” she says.
Flight attendants are experts on every aspect of air travel. They know what to look for, what sets off alarm bells and how to handle a variety of situations on a moment’s notice. Curious about that and other flight-attendant secrets? We asked Ryan and four other current and former flight attendants to spill the deets. So buckle up and read on to find out what flight attendants notice the second they look at you.
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What shoes you’re wearing
Flight attendants will always notice what you have on your feet—and it’s not because they have a Carrie Bradshaw–like shoe obsession. “I always look at what kind of shoes a customer is wearing to determine whether they can run quickly and easily in them,” says Amy Caris, a flight attendant and the director of in-flight for JSX. “If I see someone wearing high heels during boarding, I can make a note to add in an emergency command about removing them if the need arises.”
Avalon Irizarry, a flight attendant for American Airlines, notes that flight attendants pay special attention to flip-flops. “Flight attendants have this thing about covering your feet somewhat,” she says. “They also look out for passengers walking around the cabin or going into the lavatory without shoes, because we know how dirty the floor is!”
Spoiler alert: The floor is one of the things on airplanes that aren’t cleaned as thoroughly as they could be. Do your feet a favor by keeping them covered during your flight.
What clothing you’re wearing
If you notice flight attendants scanning you up and down, chances are they’re observing your clothing and accessory choices. “You’d be surprised at what people wear!” says Irizarry. When you’re sitting for hours in a metal tube, you don’t want to be sporting complicated or uncomfortable clothing that’s nearly impossible to adjust or remove when you need to go to the bathroom.
Another issue, according to Ryan, is that while an emergency landing is very unlikely, in the event it should be necessary, you want to be wearing something that you can go down the slide in. “I’m not a prude, but I always notice when passengers are in miniskirts or very short shorts because they will have a difficult time evacuating,” she says. “Also, all that exposed skin is exposed to more germs. Those airline seats are not as clean as you might hope.”
How friendly you are
What flight attendants notice about you isn’t limited to how you look. They also pay attention to how you act. When you step onto the plane, you’re usually giving off some kind of energy, and flight attendants are in a unique position to observe it as they welcome passengers. Flight attendants certainly appreciate a kind greeting or friendly smile.
“If we are greeting at the door, we notice if we are acknowledged by a smile or a returned hello,” says Irizarry. And unsurprisingly, if you do return their greeting, you’re automatically going to make a better impression. Good airplane etiquette may even get you treated to a free drink or extra snack—yep, just for being nice!
On the other hand, avoiding eye contact or exhibiting erratic or aggressive behavior will immediately raise red flags. “I’m mindful of even the way a couple behaves with each other,” says Caris. “Human traffickers have used flights as a means to facilitate trafficking, and observing signs and indicators could save someone’s life.”
The state of your carry-ons
When it comes to carry-on luggage, you may be more concerned with what a TSA agent first notices about you. But flight attendants also zero in on your carry-ons, paying close attention to how many bags you have and how large they are.
One of the reasons for this attention to detail is to ensure that you’re sticking to the rules of the plane. Flight attendants are the last line of defense against passengers who might try to board a plane with too many bags or luggage that’s too big to be a carry-on.
“I try to pay as much attention to bags as possible,” says Reginald D. Dominique, a flight attendant for Delta Air Lines. “Does anything look a little off? Is the luggage too large to fit in an overhead compartment? I also check whether bags have been tagged to be put in cargo or have hazard labels on them.”
Whether you’re distracted
Flight attendants need to know that you’re paying attention and will try to catch your eye if you’re on your cellphone. “We look to see if a passenger is texting or talking on their phone and holding up the boarding process,” says Lou Rod Cueva, a former flight attendant for a major airline. “Are they completely distracted? It’s important for the operating crew to get the aircraft out on time.”
Your headphones can be another distraction. While flight attendants are glad you’re using headphones, as opposed to blaring your music or movie over your phone speaker, they realize that you won’t be able to hear fellow passengers, intercom instructions or the flight attendants unless they get in your line of vision.
“We really appreciate it when you take off your headphones or airpods while we are doing the preflight safety instructions,” Ryan says.
How fit you are
Because their first concern is safety, what flight attendants notice about you includes your ability to keep yourself and others safe. They’ll make a mental note of passengers who are in good shape and who can help lift heavy items and lend a hand if necessary.
“I look for customers I believe can assist me in the event of an emergency,” says Dominique. “So I pay attention to physical build. Or if someone tells me they can be of any type of help in an emergency situation, I’ll make a note of where they are seated.”
If you’re a doctor, letting the flight attendant know that when you board can help save precious time in case there is a medical emergency.
If you’re intoxicated
Had a few too many before boarding? Your flight attendant will likely pick up on that quickly. If someone boarding a plane seems like they may be drunk and disruptive, or wasted and aggressive, it’s important for a flight attendant to sniff out the signs right when the passenger boards the plane so they can take measures to avoid conflict.
“If a passenger is visibly intoxicated, they can be removed from the flight, so that is something I keep an eye out for,” says one flight attendant, who spoke anonymously because they were not authorized to speak on the record. “The last thing you want is someone drunk and erratic on a flight, so it’s best to remove them prior to takeoff.”
The flight attendant also points out that you’re not allowed to bring your own alcohol on the aircraft. In fact, taking booze from passengers is a rule all flight attendants have to follow. “Just the other day, I had to take a beer away from a passenger that the gate agent must have overlooked,” they say. “It is against the law, and both the passenger and airline can get fined.”
Ryan adds that this type of behavior is exactly what gets noted on your account, to warn future flight attendants to be extra aware of you.
Whether you need special assistance or extra attention
Flight attendants are also looking for anyone who might need extra help, such as infants, the elderly or someone with an injury. “I want to make sure that whoever needs special assistance is taken care of,” says Dominique. “And I want to make sure that they are seated in the correct seat and are not obstructing anything in the event of an emergency.”
“You should let us know if you have a disability of any kind, whether that’s an extreme phobia of flying or a broken leg or terrible asthma,” Ryan says. “We may notice that you look scared, are walking with a limp or are breathing quickly, but it’s best if you let us know so we can help you. It’s not an imposition—we want to help you!”
If you’re very demanding
Flight attendants are also keenly aware of passengers who don’t have obvious needs but still ask for accommodations. “Often, these passengers are demanding from the get-go,” Ryan says. “We can see them coming down [the passenger boarding bridge] and know that as soon as they get on the plane, they’re going to start asking for things. Sometimes they’ll start asking before they even make it on the plane, yelling over the line to get my attention.”
Irizarry concurs. “Sometimes we’ve already noticed them at the gate talking to the agent, or they come on asking for special treatment or complaining,” she says. “In first class, we notice the ones trying to catch our attention because they want their coat hung right away, even when it’s difficult to get to during boarding.”
The status of your pet
When you’re flying with a dog or cat, start by reading the pet policy for your particular airline. Each airline has different rules, fees and restrictions for flying with pets. For instance, some airlines restrict pets based on size or breed and allow only small pets in the cabin. Most charge a fee for in-cabin pets, typically $75 to $200 each way. You may also be asked to provide a health certificate signed by your vet within 10 days of travel, confirming that your pet is healthy and fit to fly, along with proof of vaccinations.
If you’re used to flying with your pets, know that the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) “has changed the rules, so emotional-support animals no longer qualify to fly,” says Cueva. “A service animal must be trained and registered with the airline in advance. And if you’ve paid for your pet to fly, they must remain in their carrier for the duration of the flight.”
Make sure the carrier is soft-sided, airline-approved and fits under the seat.
Whether you look sick
From the stomach flu to the regular flu, many illnesses spread faster in the confined areas of an airplane, so if you’re not feeling well, flight attendants need to know.
“This is something that happens often, unfortunately,” says the anonymous flight attendant. “Several times, I have had passengers who say they will be fine, and then five minutes later, they’re vomiting at their seat. At that point, we have to remove the passenger from the plane. Their condition is only going to get worse, and rather than have to deal with it during the flight, it’s better to address the issue while on the ground with medical personnel available.” Not only will that get the sick person the best treatment possible, but it will also prevent the spread of an illness to other passengers.
If you get sick once you’re in the air, the flight attendants will do their best to help you, Ryan says. “I have a trick where I use heated, wet paper towels inside paper cups and tell the passenger to hold them over their ears if they are having ear pain,” she says.
If you follow instructions
From the very moment they see you, flight attendants are monitoring you to see if you follow and obey instructions. Are you bringing on a carry-on that is too large? Are you arguing with another person? Did you try to cut the line? Did you sit in a seat that’s not yours but better—and then pretend you didn’t know? They notice.
“Half of my job is giving instructions, and I would say people listen to them about half the time,” Ryan says. “This is frustrating because then people will ask me a question that I literally just explained, had they been listening.”
It’s especially frustrating, she adds, when people intentionally disobey the rules. “Yes, I see you cramming your entire luggage into the overhead bin, and yes, I hate you a little for it,” she says. “Some passengers have a very strong sense of entitlement, thinking rules are only for others, not them.”
If you’re hitting on them
Like many people working in service-industry jobs, flight attendants are used to getting hit on while they are working. “I’m naturally very friendly and outgoing, and there are some people who will interpret that as me flirting with them,” Ryan says. We’re going to hurt your feelings: She’s not—and neither are the other flight attendants.
While in-flight romance is a staple of rom-coms, it usually doesn’t work that way in real life. Ryan’s go-to strategy for dealing with it? “I pretend like I don’t understand what they’re saying,” she says. “I definitely notice that they’re trying to flirt with me, and I’ll just act oblivious. It avoids arguments and confrontations.”
Additional reporting by Charlotte Hilton Andersen and Alexa Erickson.
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Reader’s Digest has published hundreds of travel stories that help readers explore the world safely, easily and affordably. We regularly cover topics such as the best places to visit (and the best times to visit them), tips and tricks to zoom through airport security, flight-attendant secrets, hotel-room hacks and more. We’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. For this piece on what flight attendants notice about you, Lois Alter Mark tapped her experience as a longtime journalist who covers travel. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
Sources:
- Emilia Ryan, flight attendant for a major airline; phone interview, Oct. 6, 2024
- Amy Caris, flight attendant for JSX; email interview, 2022
- Avalon Irizarry, flight attendant for American Airlines; email interview, 2022
- Reginald D. Dominique, flight attendant for Delta Air Lines; email interview, 2022
- Lou Rod Cueva, former flight attendant; email interview, 2022
